I Have Been Rejected by Facebook

photo credit

Remember when I took the month of February off from Facebook?  I got myself out of the habit of checking it every day...I barely log in once a WEEK nowadays. It's wonderful!

However...

When I have something really great/horrible/random/ridiculous/funny to share, I might pop on to post a status update. I have a lot to say and sometimes one-liners just aren't blog-worthy, you know?

Here's the problem: since my little social media time out, the powers that be at Facebook have decided that my posts belong at the bottom of everyone's news feeds. So I post something great/horrible/random/ridiculous/funny and no one seems to see it. Or if they do, they're not saying anything about it. 

Since April, I have posted 20 status updates/pictures/links and have not received a single comment or even a "like" to any of them. Not. one. 

As someone who used to have several likes and a handful of comments on each and every status update, I find this odd. At first, I didn't notice it. I said what I needed to say and didn't look for any feedback or responses from anyone.  Then I threw out things that most of my good friends would say SOMEthing about.  But no. Complete silence.  From 469 random acquaintances "friends"? It just doesn't add up.

I posted about our trip to Cancun. Nothing.

I posted a picture from Ryan's birthday. Not one birthday wish.

I posted about finding Ryan's new iPod in my dryer. Silence.

I asked moms of little girls for some birthday gift ideas for Kaylin. Crickets.

I posted a picture of Kaylin's broken arm. No sympathy whatsoever.

It's starting to play games with my head! I've had visions of the cool kids in Junior High...in my school, the cool kids had been going to school together since their elementary years and they all had money. Lots of it. As the child of a single mom, I moved to their school with exactly one Esprit shirt and my prized pair of stone-washed, Guess jeans (that I wore tight-rolled in my school picture with my bangs feathered like a rock star), but for the most part, I couldn't keep up with my wealthy peers in 1988.  

I disgress.

Facebook has decided who the cool kids are by how often they get comments on their status updates and because of my month hiatus, I have been shunned. Blacklisted by the programmers of Facebook!  Because what I have to say isn't important enough to make it to the top of the news feed after I passed a note to another boy in math class I took a month-long break from social media.

Well let me tell you something, Facebook. I don't find my self worth in you! I have a blog that tens of people read every day and they will listen to my random rambles. I still have friends in the cyber world!

Now I'm going to go put on my Lucky Big Star jeans and put my hair in a trendy, sloppy bun with a headband and take pride in the fact that I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gone-it...people like me.

Even if 469 Facebook "friends" never get to read the important things I have to share. Now where's my Aqua Net hair spray...?

(PS - now would be a good time to comment and tell me that you ARE out there reading this...my ego could use a little boost. Just sayin'.)

Third cast in less than a year

Kaylin is embarrassed by her newest accessory. I think her striped cast is cool!

Saturday night, less than an hour after returning from our homeschool convention, Mike sat down to read the Bible to the kids before bed and Kaylin came tumbling off the bunk bed ladder. She only fell about three feet, but the doctor suspects that she hyper-extended her arm to brace the fall. It didn't seem that big of a deal until I laid beside her in bed to calm her down and noticed that her elbow looked funny. X-rays revealed that it's broken.

She's been in pretty good spirits about it since the pain started going away on Monday. She's gotten used to eating with her left hand, going to the bathroom with only one arm, even coloring with her non-writing hand. But we're officially taking a break from tumbling and she will not be swimming anytime soon. (*sigh*) 

We were very thankful that she didn't need surgery, since that was a concern at the Urgent Care after the accident. Plus, they're able take the cast off before her birthday on the 15th, which was her biggest fear: She longed to be cast-free before her birthday party. (which I can now officially plan now that we've scheduled the removal date)

Our clumsy little family is obviously going to need a preferred client frequency card with the Orthopedic Surgeon. Because seriously, I'd like to get our next cast free, please!  We're still paying off Ryan's cast from October when Mike was in between jobs for two weeks. 

October 2011 - Ryan's broken arm (fell off his bike)

February 2012 - Jason's recovering thumb (slammed it in the front door and it required surgery)

July 2011 - Kaylin's last attempt at injury (fell in new shoes in the grocery store parking lot) - her wrist was slightly fractured, so they just put her in a sling until it healed.

I'm seeing a great scrapbook layout theme here. Is that wrong? I need to find humor in here somewhere, because we're out of money in our HSA and every penny of this accident is coming out of savings. Here's hoping that money tree in the backyard starts growing ASAP!!!

Healthy, Allergy-Free Breakfast "Cookies" (sugar free, dairy free, gluten free, egg free)

I was skeptical when I saw this recipe for no sugar oat drops sent from my wonderful, all-natural friend in Michigan. There is no flour, no sugar or honey, no butter, no eggs or dairy - they're like the perfect allergy-free snack!  

I had a few over ripe bananas that day, so I whipped up a batch and am completely hooked. I made some adjustments to use what I had on hand and they were surprisingly good.

These "cookies" are healthy, yet very nutrient dense, so don't keep popping them in your mouth when they begin to grow on you. I froze them for pre-workout energy since my morning smoothies seem to leave me tired and winded too soon into my aerobics classes these days.

Ingredients: 
1 1/2 cups regular rolled oats
1 cup coconut flakes (I don't do coconut, so this is optional)
1/4 cup of almond meal (put almonds into a food processor or coffee grinder and pulse)
1/2 cup mixed nuts, finely chopped (I used almonds, walnuts and pecans)

1/2 teaspoon salt 
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1 cup dried fruit (I used 1/2 chopped dried dates and 1/2 raisins)
-----------
3 ripe bananas, mashed
1/4 cup canola oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:
- Preheat oven to 350°.
- In a large bowl, combine rolled oats, almond meal, mixed nuts and coconut flakes. Stir in salt, nutmeg and cinnamon. Add dried fruit and stir until well and evenly mixed. Make sure the dried fruit do not stick together in big batches.

- In another bowl, combine canola oil, mashed banana and vanilla extract. Pour wet ingredients over dry ingredients and stir until well combined. 
- Scoop large spoonfuls of batter onto a parchment-lined baking sheet and flatten with a fork. (they will not spread while baking) Bake for about 20 minutes or until edges are golden brown.

Yields 20 "breakfast cookies" - depending on the size. (I used a medium cookie scoop)

Meal Plan 7/23/12

Monday - {Rachael Ray's} Meatloaf Roll Up 

Tuesday - Mango Cucumber Rice Salad* (with shredded chicken)

Wednesday - Salmon in a Bag (tin foil, lemon, salmon, butter – Wrap it up tightly and bake for 25 minutes at 300 °)

Thursday - Chicken Enchilada Quiche

Friday - Parmesan Crusted Herb Chicken* and Quinoa with Veggies.

Saturday - Peachy Chicken Salad with Cumin over greens*

Sunday - Steak and potatoes on the grill

* Indicates new recipe - will review on a future Meal Plan

What I Learned About Learning

This weekend, I have been up to my eyeballs in information. Vendor booths, speakers, pages of notes and handouts, tons of quality time with my husband and fun with friends that we don't get to see enough. Any guesses where we have been?

We officially attended our first homeschooling convention. 

WAIT!  Before you check out (because very few of you are homeschoolers) - please hear me out. I learned so much that applies to other areas of life that I'm so excited to share with you. My hope is that some of this will resinate with you, too.

I'm just going to bullet point this list with notes because it seems inefficient to recap the 14 hours and nine different speakers I listened to, despite all of their fascinating topics.  Here goes...I'll replace the topic of homeschooling where I see fit to make it relatable for the majority of you reading...

* Don't put your kids on display. As parents, I think we're naturally tempted to have our kids show off for an audience. "Junior, say your ABCs! Watch this - he's just so smart." We hear it all the time, right? But this advice was specifically in reference to the fact that now that we're homeschooling, people might expect our kids to impress them with the knowledge and maturity that homeschooling families have a reputation of "rubbing" in other's faces.  Don't ask your child to perform for others and don't allow others to put pressure on your children to wow them with their latest and greatest accomplishments. The idea behind this is to keep pressure off the children and to keep the parents humble. Who doesn't need a little extra humility?

* Fruit and character are produced over time. This has been a bit of a struggle for me and I am so glad to have seen the light. My expectations of the changes I would see in my kids were a bit unrealistic, if we're being honest.  If you planted an apple tree in August, would you expect to pick apples in September? No! The daily work you put into your kids (whether it's teaching them respect, obedience or any other virtue you're trying to instill) will take months, even years, to make a lasting impact on their personality. Be consistent, be patient and know that you will see the product of your labor at the end of the harvest.

* Create teaching opportunities in the non-crisis moment. If you want your kids to appreciate gifts on their birthday or have respectful behavior or know how to handle disputes when they're angry, talk about how to act before the opportunity arises. Everyone will be unemotional during the teaching process and you'll set them up for greater success by giving them a dress rehearsal for each experience.

* People remember things that they learn when there is engagement of the senses, emotions or movement. Apparently, studies show that a person may sit quietly to think, but to remember a thought, an action must be used to anchor it. This is why my friend DutchMac pointed out that actors move around or pace while learning their lines for a performance. Brilliant. Just the act of taking notes in a conference, even if you never plan to look at the notes again, will solidify the information in my mind. Typing up this blog post is even one step further, I'd imagine! So when you see students studying for a nursing exam while on the stationary bike at the gym, know that they are (unknowingly) learning more than their classmates who are studying at the library. Is this fascinating, or is it just me? 

* Keep the audience wanting more. When studying material that children lose interest in quickly, keep lessons short. For non-homeschoolers, an example could be Bible lessons or reading chapter books out loud. If you attempt to teach/read more than your child can handle for their age, it's overkill. Yet if you do just a little bit less, you leave them wanting more, creating an interest in that topic.

* Foster a love for learning. Keep it (whether "it" is washing the car or learning the concept of gravity) entertaining and fun to create lifelong learners.

* Don't compare your kids to others. A common theme of the weekend was to teach to your kids' individual learning styles and pace because, well, we have that flexibility when home educating.  But this principle is true for us all. Don't compare the fact that your neighbor's kid can hold conversations in Spanish at age 8 or that your child's best friend has impeccable table manners during play dates while your child belches the alphabet. Sure, work on areas that require improvement, but don't compare apples to oranges. Every child has their strengths and weaknesses and comparing makes them feel like bad kids and makes you feel like a bad parent. Just don't.

* Remember the goal. I thought about it a lot this weekend and above all my other littler reasons, I landed on the fact that my main purpose for deciding to homeschool is because I truly want to be the primary influence in my kids' lives. Period. The fact that we're no longer rushing around each morning and afternoon is a bonus. So is the fact that Ryan finally has free time during the week. And that my kids are getting along better. And that schoolwork is no longer stressful. And that I can switch gears when I see my kids checked out because something isn't "due" at any certain time. Those are just bonuses!

* Our relationships are the most important thing. One of the speakers repeated all weekend, "character before curriculum" and it stuck with me. It is more important for me to work on my child's bad attitude (or mine, for that matter) than it is for them to complete a grammar chapter that we're struggling with. (how ironic...ending a sentence about grammar with the word "with") It is also most important that I am calm while teaching my kids even when they don't seem to get it after the 14th time I've reminded them how to spell "those". If I can't keep my cool, we need to stop what we're doing for everyone's sake.

* Fostering a love for learning is more important than "finishing" something that isn't working. If a curriculum doesn't fit for my child, I need to try something else on for size. If you spend $500 on orthopedic shoes for your child in March and they go through a growth spurt in June and they don't fit anymore, you wouldn't cram their poor feet into them! Same goes for learning. A dear friend gave me the teacher's manuals for Saxon math and I completed the set, buying the accompanying handbooks for all three years, only to discover that it was a horrible fit for Ryan's hands-on personality. We switched, despite Mike cringing at the additional expense, and now he loves that "math is easy." 

We met Ryan's math "teacher" this weekend (Math U See is a video series). I knew he would be at the conference, so I had Ryan record him a quick "thank you" video on my phone and he got a personalized "keep up the good work" video and signed copy of his book in return. Ryan was so excited...Steve Demme is like a movie star to him.

Using another example along these lines, if Ryan decides 25 pages before the end of Charlotte's Web  that he doesn't want to read about the spider dying, then I need to agree to return the book to the library. (and I will do this first thing Monday morning!)

* Ask myself, "What do I want my children to remember about ___________?" You can alter this question to anything in your own home, like, "What do I want my children to remember about their younger years?" or "...living at home?" or "...spending time as a family?" For me, the question is, "What do I want my children to remember most about homeschooling?" Is it the education they received? The information they retain? Or the time we spent together as a family? We get so caught up in things going just right that we lose sight of what matters most: the relationships in our home.

There is so, so much more that I wanted to share with you, but that's enough to digest for now. Mike benefited from meant-for-dads breakout sessions like, "Help! I'm married to a homeschool mom," and "Every dad is a homeschool dad," that have completely changed his perspective about this process.  I'm so grateful that we attended the conference this weekend and can't wait to apply all of my new tools and skills to our routine!

(*sigh*) Intense Mommy Guilt

Today was such a good day. Most of it, anyway. 

I read a blog post this morning about "delighting in your children" and it started my whole day in the right direction. I vowed to focus on the positives throughout the day, laugh as much as possible with my kids and to remain calm in all circumstances. (I'm still working toward my goal of being a non-yelling mom once again. This struggle seems to creep back up each time a child turns two.)

The day wasn't all rainbows and puppy dogs, but overall, I felt good about it. I tackled the mall with all three kids in tow, hit the Apple store, rode on the escalator a few times, all with no tantrums to report.  School was {fairly} smooth. I even took the kids for a swim after dinner while Mike was at the gym. I loved that we were ending the day on a fun note and the kids had a blast playing in the pool.

Then, after baths, I was chasing Jason around trying to get his diaper on when he accidentally...um...passed gas. Loudly. Ryan burst into a fit of giggles. 

"Do it again, Jason!" Ryan squealed. So Jason pushed out another. Hysterical laughter from both boys. 

"MORE!" I was shocked that he performed yet again. It was at this point that I became concerned that he was forcing things out that should be staying IN his body. I asked Ryan to stop egging him on, but he ran the opposite direction to the bathroom and encouraged Kaylin to hurry out of the bath to come listen to the symphony of entertainment.

"Ryan, please stop laughing...this is not going to end well..." My blood pressure was rising at this point.

Jason forced out another. Hysterics. "Do it again! Do it again!" the chanting continued.

"Ryan, STOP. He's going to make a mess on the floor if he keeps pushing like that." I could feel veins popping out of my neck as I controlled the urge to raise my voice...

Somehow, this magician of a two year old continued farting for his audience. 

During the commotion, the phone rang. It was one of my new consultants who I knew was calling with questions from her first party. I answered a phone in another room to avoid the chaotic background noise.

My stress level was now through the roof. The screaming and laughter was such a distraction, all while my new consultant was having trouble understanding my answer to her questions. (it's quite possible that she couldn't hear a word I was saying) I continued to attempt to calmly explain my suggestions while my children are running amuck around me.

The call finally ended. (it felt like an hour later, but was more like 2-3 minutes) Ryan ran up to me and breathlessly announced, "MOM! You were right. Jason pooped on the floor." Awesome. 

I. lost it.

"Ryan! What did I tell you?!? This is ridiculous. Where is it? Did he just do it once? I am so frustrated with you. I TOLD you to stop. What do I always say???  'Do what's right, even when others don't.' Go get in bed...NOW!"  These were some of my words...it felt like I just continued to verbally vomit all over Ryan. Specifically Ryan. The kid who didn't poop on the floor.

I realize Ryan didn't make the mess. Ryan wasn't even the one creating the entertainment. But in my furious mind at that moment, Ryan "should have known better" being the older, eight-year-old child.

I found not one, but two little deposits on the carpet, then Kaylin pointed out a third a few minutes later. This did not help my stress level...how many more were there?!!?! WHEN would they be discovered??? Did anyone step in one and smear it throughout the hallway? Where was everyone running while I was on the phone for two minutes? This was so preventable. What were those boys thinking?!?!

I put Jason to bed, set Kaylin up with something in the school room and got in the shower for a Mommy Time Out.  Time alone helps put things into perspective for me. Maybe it does that for everyone.

I emerged much more calm, yet feeling incredibly guilty for the way I'd overreacted and blown up at Ryan.  So I went into his room to apologize. In detail.

Me: "I was wrong to blame that situation on you, buddy, and I was even more wrong to lose my temper like that."

Ryan: "Yeah, when you were yelling at me and I was in bed, I was crying into my covers."

(*gulp*)

Me: "What were you thinking while you were crying?"

Ryan: "That I'm a bad kid who never listens and obeys."

(...and the Mother of the Year Award goes to...)

Me: "Do you think you're a bad kid?"

Ryan: "No."

Me: "That's right. You are NOT a bad kid. You are a really good boy, Ryan, with such a good heart. I know you wish you made better decisions sometimes and I wish that, too, but we both need to be more patient while you get in the habit of making better decisions. It's going to take some time. Do you think you 'never listen and obey'?"

Ryan: "Not as much as I should." 

Me: "That might be true, but it's in our nature to do what WE want to do, not what's right all of the time. We need to make the decision to listen and obey because it's the right thing to do, even when you'd rather do something else."

Ryan: "When you were mad at me, I felt like God was mad at me, too."

(and the hits just keep on comin')

Me: "God wasn't mad at you, Ryan. He might have been disappointed that you chose not to listen to my warnings, but God was also disappointed in me. He put me in charge of training you until you're a grown up and the way I handled this situation tonight is not how He wants me to parent you."

Ryan: "What did He want you to do?"

Me: "Probably punish or discipline you for not obeying me the first time. Quietly, not shouting like I did. He also wants me to make sure you understand the consequences of disobedience. Because if you don't learn to obey Daddy and me while you live in our house, you're going to have a really hard time obeying God when you're on your own as a grown up."

Ryan: "I'll keep trying to make good choices, Mom."

The conversation continued on to other things, but what surprised me most was how understanding Ryan was of the reason I went over the edge. He's getting so old and mature, yet he's still a fun-loving, silly, little boy who lacks the self-control that I seem to over-expect him to have at this age.

Somehow, Ryan ended up drifting into a discussion about best friends, which transitioned into a blatant question about which of the kids is my favorite? This was a great opportunity to tell him that I will never love any of the kids more than any of the others. Even though Jason has more tough days than the older kids at this stage in his life, I don't love him any more or less than the big kids.  Even though Kaylin seems to thrive on helping others and going above and beyond (when she's in the mood), I don't love her any more or less than her brothers. And when Ryan makes a choice not to obey the first time, I don't love him any more or less. Ever.

It was a good teachable moment, and one that I hope not to soon forget. I wish I didn't have the ability to explode like that. Going from 0-60 when I've done so well with so much all...day...long...I feel like such an instant failure. 

Thankfully, my kids seem to recover quicker than their mama. And they forgive me. And hopefully, they will forget these moments and move on with their childhood. If they don't, maybe they'll tuck them away to use in their own parenting arsenals someday.

"I'll never do XYZ like my mother did..."  How many times have we heard THAT?!?!

Lucky Duck Day

I read about THE BEST idea last week! It's called Lucky Duck Day and it's intended to reduce sibling rivalry and squabbles throughout the day. 

It goes like this: every day, one child is the Lucky Duck and it rotates in age order. We began with the youngest child on Monday, which I would not recommend because Jason was thoroughly confused on Tuesday why he's not the Lucky Duck EVERY day.

When a child is the Lucky Duck, they get to be the kid who goes on errands with Daddy, they can get in the van first and pick the "best" seat, choose the morning snack that we bring to the gym, run to the front door first when the doorbell rings (without being trampled by the other siblings), they get the choice of dessert (usually a fight over the "biggest" cookie) after dinner, I even went so far as to say that when two kids are fighting over a toy, the Lucky Duck gets the toy on their day. That child is essentially given preferential treatment all day long.

(You might be asking who "wins" a battle between two kids when neither is the Lucky Duck that day? That was Ryan's first question. He suggested that the person who is the Lucky Duck the NEXT day gets it because "it's been longer since they've been the Lucky Duck." I liked that logic.)

The Lucky Duck doesn't get to do whatever they want all day long, but when there's a question about "who goes first," my answer isn't always, "ladies first" anymore. That was creating an entitled little girl and resentful brothers. This way is much more fair in a world where fairness means everything to kids!

The bickering and competition in my house has reduced dramatically - and the kids think this is the greatest thing ev-ah. They can't wait for their Lucky Duck Day and treat the Lucky Duck like a king. It's like having a line leader in our home, if you want to think about it that way. They LOVE it.

July Goal Update {no t.v. for a month}

It's hard to believe that we're in the second half of 2012. Does it make me sound old to say, "Where has the time gone...?"

I have been doing pretty well on my 12 monthly goals for 2012 and am particularly proud of this month's goal. For July, I intended to, "Keep the t.v. off for all but 2 hours per week." I fully expected that the 2 hours would be Mike and I watching 30 minutes of t.v. a few nights a week or sitting down to watch a movie on the weekends. I checked this goal out with him before committing it to paper, and he agreed, but wasn't nearly as pumped up about it as I was.

As it turns out, I've had many more moments of "weakness" in the past 11 days than he has. There have been nights that I've said, "Want to see what we've missed on the DVR?" and he's replied, "Nah, let's go to bed early," or "That's okay...I have some stuff I need to do on the computer."

Not "unwinding" every night in front of the t.v. has gifted me with several hours of "extra" time this month. No one is more surprised than I am that I had gotten into the habit of flipping on the t.v. each night to zone out. I've had more time to meal plan so our afternoons aren't rushed, more time to tidy up the house and start our mornings fresh, more time to organize our new school room, more time to plan our next day's school activities, more time to implement ideas I've found on Pinterest, and, as of last night, I've finally found time to start scrapbooking again. (I am almost two years behind, but was able to bust out five layouts last night)

The biggest surprise is that I'm not necessarily going to bed earlier (because I'm filling the time with other things) but I'm waking up much, much more rested in the mornings. I'm not as groggy and there have been several times that I've woken up way too early and my body simply didn't need to fall back to sleep. Today was the earliest by far: My eyes popped open at 5:15 (I went to bed at 11:00 last night) and I couldn't drift back to sleep for the life of me! So I sit here now, someone who needs a minimum of eight solid hours a night, wide awake with only six hours of shut eye. And this is not the first time this has happened this month. Coincidence? I'm thinking not.

And how are the kids doing? Incredible. Once I told the big kids that the t.v. was staying off for a month, they haven't asked to watch it even one time. The "two hours per week" that the t.v. has been on has all been shows for Jason. Every other day or so, I'll need him to be captivated so I can focus on helping the big kids with schoolwork, uninterrupted. But even he's become bored with the t.v. I had Ryan put a show on for him yesterday and he didn't last 10 minutes before meandering back into the school room and pulling out some books so he could be part of the action.

Every time I do a "no t.v. challenge" like this I am amazed and relieved at the results. The kids play together more nicely, their creativity flourishes, their attitudes improve, and now that I've jumped on board (for the first time), my productivity is through the roof. Mike has been going to the gym more consistently. My house is less cluttered, our school day is smoother and I am ending my days in front of a quiet book instead of a blaring t.v. Last weekend, Mike and I even dusted off our Scrabble game.

If you've never intentionally turned off the t.v. for a period of time in your house, I highly recommend trying it. If you can't get your spouse on board, just start with you and the kids and take it one day at a time. The first day might be tough, but if you stick with it and help the kids expand their imaginations, you will likely find yourself as thrilled as I am.

So who's with me? Are you willing to give it a try?

Our Homeschool Room Makeover

AFTER - the letters on the wall spell "create" not "reate", by the way.  Some of the scrapbooking decor is appropriate for homeschooling!

My old craft room has had a complete transformation in the last year. The true "before" pictures are in this post from March, 2011...which is about the last time I scrapbooked!

In November, when we began homeschooling, I carved out a corner of the room to dedicate to teaching Ryan. Then a few months ago, once I got the thumb's-up to keep Kaylin home next year, too, I reorganized everything and shoved all of my neglected scrapbooking supplies into the walk-in closet. 

It was around this time that I began putting a bug in Mike's ear that I'd like to replace our folding table with some real desk space for the kids.

BEFORE pic of the school room work tables - I can't believe we were productive with all of that clutter!!!

BEFORE pic of the kids' desks-turned-dumping-grounds

I saw this post and this post and I fell in love - I couldn't get the desks out of my head! The more I stared at pictures of these beautiful organized school rooms, the more I realized that there wasn't much leg room for the kids. So I looked around on IKEA's website and found these. (which I ultimately purchased)

When I reorganized and pushed my scrapbook supplies into the closet, I set up the room the way I would have it once we purchased the new desks, but I put our folding table in their place.

AFTER pic of wall contraption above our work desk/folding table

AFTER pic of the reading "corner" which is really in the middle of the wall. You can see Jason's black {Yoga} mat that we roll out to keep him contained in one place while he plays.

After several weeks of coordinating with my father in law and his truck, we finally went to IKEA this weekend to make our big purchases. We unloaded ALL of the boxes and began assembling.

The kids got sick of being shooed away, so we put them to work and they LOVED IT.

Jason even pulled out his wooden tool set and banged away with everyone.

With all hands on deck, we were done in under two hours...and still had our sense of humor.

The old desks-turned-clutter-catchers (that I never properly used for the kids) have been repurposed: the bigger one (this was our computer desk early in our marriage) is now being used for Ryan's typing lessons and to hold my mega paper cutter and the printer/scanner. (top pic below) The littler one is now in the hallway so the kids can have a place to go if the school room becomes too distracting.

You can tell I haven't updated the pictures in a while - Ryan was Jason's age in that pic on the top shelf and Kaylin's pictures are from when she was a baby!  I'll put that on the to-do list...

The bookshelf holds homeschool books, but the wire rack still keeps all of my scrapbooks, 12x12 paper and some other supplies. It's a bit of an eye sore in the room, but it's not going anywhere.

This is the shelf behind where I sit. It keeps certain items within reach while I'm teaching.

This is another lifesaver - my mom passed this on to me a few months ago and it's awesome!  I think she got it at Staples - it's a hanging, spinning file holder with pockets on the outside of each side of the cube, plus pen holders at each corner.

This is a closer view of Jason's toy cubbies and activities, which I finally got around to labeling last week.

And here is what is inside one of the hanging cabinets: extra office supplies,  card games and my laminating supplies. The wire basket on top holds all of the Play Doh accessories and the mega Legos are next to it.

The other cabinet holds most of the craft supplies. The wire basket on top contains all of the larger craft stuff.

Ryan is as excited about this transformation as I am. He loves things neat and organized! It was his idea to bust out the label maker and label the drawers for the kids. This is how I have them separated and it has REALLY helped to keep everyone on task this week:

Top shallow drawer - Ryan/Kaylin's choice. I've been encouraging them to keep assignments-in-progress in there so we can tidy the room at the end of each day.

Next shallow drawer - Supplies. Pencils, erasers, scissors...all their own so they don't fight and they won't have to get up from their spot.

Top deeper drawer - "With Mom". Every afternoon/night, I stack the worksheets, workbooks and notebooks that each kid will need for the work we do together in the mornings. Generally, this is Grammar and History, plus we just started learning about space and states/Geography.

Next deeper drawer  - "Independent work". These are items that they can do on their own with little help from me. If Ryan wants to get an early start on his day, this is the drawer he opens.

Bottom deeper drawer - "Not for today". This is where I keep their workbooks that might be used tomorrow or later in the week. Plus, this is where the kids put their books when they are done with their assignment for the day.

I love the idea of workboxes, but I don't want to restrict the kids to doing things in the order I choose.  I want them to have some independence and freedom, apart from the things we learn in a group. As long as they get their work done by the end of the week (short of Math and Spelling, which I make sure Ryan and Kaylin do daily) then I really don't care when they do everything.

What's in this room???
3 - IKEA Vika Alex drawer units (I decided to go with the drawers instead of the shelves)

2 - IKEA Vika Alex table tops with white legs (I opted for longer, skinnier tables than in the links above - we pushed them together to make a larger desk. These two tables are 78 3/4" long, 23 5/8" wide and 29 1/8" high)

3 - IKEA Snille chairs (decided against swivel to avoid potential distractions)
1 - IKEA Torkel swivel chair (for me)

2 - Target cubbie 3x3 shelving units with 9 - drawer inserts (both of these items go on sale every few weeks, so watch the ads - much cheaper than IKEA's wall unit, but the cubbies aren't tall enough for 3-ring binders, just an FYI)

All other shelves and items in the room are things I've collected since college and threw together when I created my craft/scrapbook room.

Creating Unselfish, Helpful Siblings

For years, I've been reading about larger families and how they get "it" all done. The whole process of running a home is a giant task in and of itself, but for families who's members are multiplied exponentially, well, let's just say I've always been curious how the parents keep their act together.

One common thread that I've seen in well-run household and those with larger families is that everyone helps out and contributes. Once a child is old enough to pick up toys, they are expected to pitch in. As they get older, they might set the table or make their bed or unload the dishwasher. This is something I've incorporated into our home for chores and responsibilities. I believe it keeps my kids from feeling a sense of entitlement and it keeps Mike and me from running ragged doing everything ourselves. Not only have we set daily and weekly expectations for the kids, but they are expected to complete each task with a happy heart...I think that's an important, forgotten piece of the process.

Another common thread, especially with bigger families, is that older kids help their younger siblings. The thing that frustrates me is that Jason won't let Ryan or Kaylin help him with anything...he barely lets me help him with anything! This creates a problem when safety is at stake or when I genuinely need an extra set of hands when caring for Jason.

I've recently decided to intentionally work on this in our home. Not only for Jason to be more willing to listen and obey his older siblings (when they are put in charge and it is made clear to him that they are in charge) but also for Kaylin to be more open to taking instruction from Ryan.

I began asking Ryan to help Jason do little things (that I didn't need him to necessarily do, at that moment) and watched to monitor that Jason would actually allow the help. Just simple things, like getting Jason dressed or putting toothpaste on his toothbrush. Now we're up to the boys bathing together and Ryan can actually wash and rinse Jason's hair on his own. These aren't things that will become Ryan's responsibilities as an older brother, I'm just looking to set a precedence that if/when I'm overwhelmed, Jason will accept help from his siblings.

Then I moved on to Kaylin. Sometimes her relationship with Ryan can be such a competition that her pride takes over and she cops an attitude when he offers assistance. Granted, Ryan tends to enjoy helping people without asking if they would like his help (I'm not sure where he gets that controlling nature...it's a mystery...) so Kaylin already has it set up in her head that he's being a bossy older brother when there are times that he is genuinely trying to be helpful.

To transition this into our homeschool routine, I'm taking a page from the Dutch.  My friend, DutchMac, has raved of their education system for years. The 4-6 year olds all begin in the same classroom and study the same things, then the older kids will assist the younger kids when they struggle with certain concepts.  How brilliant is that? Teaching that information solidifies the knowledge in the older kids while fostering an environment of community and helpfulness. 

I am stealing this idea without shame.

On our way to and from the gym each day (HA - I wish I was good enough to go every day) the kids work on their spelling workbooks in the backseat. Up until recently, the work has been easy enough that they haven't required much of me. The problem has been that Ryan doesn't like being interrupted with questions and Kaylin sometimes isn't humble in her clarifying questions of Ryan, so they bicker. 

During school time, I started having Kaylin help Jason with his flashcards (which he loves and I don't spend enough time doing with him because of the needs of the older kids). When he doesn't mind Kaylin, she gets a taste of her own medicine. I can now use those moments as examples of how I want Kaylin to give to respect Ryan when he's helping her. I remind Ryan to speak to Kaylin the way he wants me to speak to him when he asks for help, I remind Kaylin to speak to Ryan the way she wants Jason to speak to her when she's trying to help him...it's becoming a give-and-take learning lesson.

All of this to say that we're breaking down the walls of pridefulness around here with these kids. It's not constantly a problem, but when I'm in a hurry and need everyone to cooperate, things rarely go smoothly, so we're having lots of "dress rehearsals" to practice in the non-crisis moments of life.

And it seems to be working well!  So far.

Jasonisms - 2 and a 1/2

I haven't posted about Jasonisms in a while...if ever, now that I think about it...but there are a few things that I can't allow myself to forget years from now.

For instance, he says...

"eff-a-lent" instead of elephant

"han-ga-ber" instead of hamburger

"pokee dots" instead of polka dots

"cam-a-lope" instead of cantaloupe

"s'movie" instead of smoothie
"final morning" instead of final warning
"we ya you?" instead of where are you
"Coke-ee-nuck milk" intead of coconut milk

His speech is really good for his age, but he suddenly started stuttering last week. Badly. He caught himself saying, "W...w...w..." and burst out laughing at himself.  He said, "Hey, Mom!  I said, 'W-w-w-w!'" He's now at a point where he stutters at the beginning of almost every sentence and can't help himself.  His brain simply works faster than his face!  Ryan stuttered around this age, too, and it went away after a month or two, so I'm not concerned. 

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Yesterday out of the blue, Jason said, "I love you, Mom," and I said, "I love you too, buddy!" to which he responded, "I love you most." Melted my heart! I think he got it from the movie Tangled, but still...this kid is a charmer.
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Jason's new self-proclaimed favorite color is orange. He tells us every chance he gets. The other day, he was pretending with me and said, "Mom, wanna lolla-pop?" I pretended to lick an imaginary lollipop in his hand, then offered him one, too. "Here you go, this is a red lollipop." He stopped mid-lick and whined, "But Mom...I want an orange lolla-pop!!!" He didn't understand why I burst out laughing. Then with the kids' Ikea dishes, Kaylin's colors are pink and orange, Ryan uses yellow and green and Jason gets both shades of blue. (Don't laugh - this keeps the kids from fighting) This suddenly upsets Jason greatly. When Kaylin is eating out of an orange bowl, he does not let it go without a fight.

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I realize many kids will fall asleep anywhere, but my kids are all bed sleepers. The other night, I noticed Kaylin's bedroom light was on at 9:30pm. (I switched Jason and Kaylin for a while because I was sick of Ryan complaining that Jason wakes him up at 5:30 every morning) I stormed into the room, expecting to see Jason playing, but he was unconscious on the floor, face down in his blanket, next to Kaylin's books. He barely moved when Mike relocated him to the bed.

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This kid still has an incredibly strong will. It exhausts me. Daily. Naptime can't come soon enough each day...staying calm for hours on end while he's slowly driving me insane takes it all out of me. From what I remember with Ryan, it gets better around 4-5 years old. Only 2-3 more years of this. Awesome.

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When he knows I'm upset, he'll say, "Mommy...smile!" or if he asks to play the iPad and I tell him that he doesn't have enough stars, he'll say, "No, Mommy. You need to say, 'That's fine, buddy!' or 'Sure, okay!'" My little manipulator.

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One thing that's almost comical is when he talks back. Also a routine, yet unacceptable, part of our day, he says things that make no sense and I have to stifle my giggles. Like when I say, "Jason, please chew your food before speaking," he'll point to me and say, "YOU chew your food." Or "Climb up into your car seat," to which he'll respond, "YOU get in your car seat." After months of correcting this behavior, I've caught him stopping himself from talking back on several occasions. Hopefully, this phase will pass soon enough!

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Another daily battle is how rough Jason is. I've decided that, above all else, I need to focus all of my attention onto teaching him to be gentle with his hands and with his voice. He screams a LOT (when happy, sad, frustrated, delighted, you name it) and gets physical with Kaylin and Ryan when he doesn't get his way. Even if his way is unreasonable. (ex: not giving him back the toy that he stole from them) This has to stop ASAP because I've started raising my voice again and it's not a habit I'm willing to accept back into my life again!

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When Jason is given individual attention, he is a noticeably different child. Every once in a while my mom or Mike's parents will take the big kids for a sleepover and Jason gets to be an only child for a few hours. For the most part, he's delightful! I'm wondering if he just has a bit of a strong competitive spirit with the older kids. Regardless, he needs to learn to live with them in peace because they're not going anywhere!

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Speaking of, Jason really wants to be a big kid and participate in school. He tries to learn the rhymes and poems I teach the big kids and begs to stand on a chair and recite what he knows. He proudly raises his hand when I ask the group a question and can tell me the definition of a noun, Phillipians 4:13 in its entirety and he most recently learned the "I before E except after C" poem, which now includes "or when sounding like A, as in neighbor and weigh." There are also a couple of poems that the kids have memorized in their Grammar lessons that Jason can jump in with a complete line here and there. See what I mean? A little competitive.

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Here is a video of Jason saying his version of most of the words I listed at the beginning of this post. I forgot to have him say, "pokee dots" which is the funniest of them all. 

When I Grow Up...

Ryan: barely 8
Kaylin: almost 6
Jason: very, very 2

While waiting for breakfast yesterday, the kids were having conversations that absolutely had to be recorded. So I grabbed my laptop and began typing while the kids' crepes were cooking...

Ryan: "When I grow up, I'm going to come over to your house every Wednesday." (talking to me)

Kaylin: "When I grow up, if my husband doesn't want to come over with me, I'll just come over to your house by myself."

Jason: "When I'm a grown up, I'm going to play the iPad at your house."

Ryan: "When I grow up, I'm going to come over for breakfast, then leave, then probably come back over for dinner."

Kaylin: "When I grow up, I'm also going to make your favorite breakfast.  If I know what it is..."

Jason: "When I grow up, I'm going to go around in a circle." (clearly trying to participate, but not quite catching on)

Ryan: "When I grow up, I'm going to buy you expensive gifts.  Like probably 5,000 iPods."

Kaylin: "When I grow up, I will buy you a pretty, pretty necklace to show you how much I love you. And I'll buy Daddy an iPad since you have one but he doesn't and you guys have to share."

Jason: "I'm gonna grow up in my house."

Ryan: "When I grow up, I'm going to buy an iPhone. And probably an iPad when I reach 30."

Jason: "When I grow up, I'm gonna get a spankin'." Me: "Are you going to spank your kids, Jason?" Jason: "Yeah, I'm gonna spank all the kids." Me: "You're going to spank them even though it hurts to get spanked?"Jason: "Yeah." Me: "Why?" Jason: "Because I said so."

Ryan: "When I grow up, I see myself sleeping in every morning and probably getting up at 7:30."

Kaylin: "When I grow up, I'm going to have six kids." Ryan: "That's a big family. I see myself having four kids." Kaylin: "Yeah, I want five kids." Ryan: "I want a small family.  I'm only going to have three kids." Kaylin: "I'm going to have two boy kids, two girl kids and one baby girl." Me: "Will the baby girl ever grow up?" Kaylin: "She will, but the two boys and the two girls will come first."

Ryan: "Your crepes are ready, Mrs. Edwards." Kaylin: "I'm not Mrs. Edwards!" Me: "If you marry someone with the last name of Edwards, you could be Mrs. Edwards." Ryan: "Yeah, you won't be Mrs. Roose forever." Kaylin: "Oh...yeah..."

Ryan: "When I grow up, I might be a teacher."

Kaylin: "When I grow up, I'm going to be a teacher and a doctor." Me: "You're not going to be a stay at home mom, like me?" Kaylin: "Well, you work for Tastefully Simple." Me: "Oh, good point."  Kaylin: "And I'm going to ask you to teach me how to do Tastefully Simple when I get older.  Like when I'm 15."

Ryan: "And I might be a scientist."

Kaylin: "When I grow up, I'm also going to an artist." (I predict that to be a true statement)

Ryan: "When I grow up, I'm going to marry someone who loves Jesus." Kaylin: "Yeah, me too."

Me: "Jason, when you grow up, how many kids do you want to have?"

Jason: "Um, five.  Kaylin, it's your turn."

Me: "Kaylin, how old are you going to be when you get married?" Kaylin: "I might be like...20." Me: "How about you, Ryan?" Ryan: "I'm going to be 18 or 25 when I get married." Kaylin: "Actually, I'm going to be 29." Ryan: "That's almost as old as Mom."

Me: "Ryan, what are the rules going to be in your house when you grow up?"

Ryan: "No hitting, biting, pinching or scratching, say 'Yes, Mom' and 'Yes, Dad,' be respectful, I might have that virtues chart that you have hanging on our pantry, no saying bad words like stupid, shut up or any of that bad stuff..."

Kaylin: "The rules in my family are going to be no hitting, biting, pinching or scratching and I'm not going to spank." Me: "Why?" Kaylin: "Because I don't want to deal with crying.  I'm not going to put the kids in time out or spank them or anything, I'm just going to tell them, 'Don't do that!' and we're not going to be able to say stupid, shut up, oh my God or even oh my gosh...we can only say, 'Oh my goodness,' and we're going to be patient. When I get older, we're going to bring over breakfasts and lunches and dinners and if it's getting close to snack time, I'll bring my family to chat and we'll bring snacks to share with you guys. I want to read this {blog post} when I get older so I won't forget."

And with that, the conversation was over. Now let's see if I can remember in 20 years that I typed this post...!

Firecracker Painting for Kids

I saw this idea on Pinterest and the kids had a blast creating this morning!  We put some pipe cleaners together to create the "firecrackers", dipped them in paint on paper plates and stamped them onto blue paper.  They turned out so cute that I might frame a couple and keep them with my summer decorations!  Happy Independence Day!!!

Gluten Free Meal Plan - 7/2/12

Monday - Crock pot BBQ Chicken* with brown rice
Tuesday - {Crock Pot} Minestrone Soup
Wednesday - going to a pot luck...bringing Red, White and Blueberry Cheesecake Cupcakes*
Thursday - Homemade Chipotle Bowls
Friday - Cheap and Easy Korean Beef* with brown rice and broccoli
Saturday - out to eat
Sunday - Savory Grilled Chicken on the grill with red potatoes and salad

Dessert:
Peanut Butter Banana Cream Pie Parfaits*
Frozen S'Mores Cups* (for the kids - minus the Cool Whip)

* I'm feeling adventurous this week, so I'm trying lots of new recipes.  I'll repost them if they're good!