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Happy Ash Wednesday! Last night, Mike and I were talking about what we could give up for Lent (no, we're not Catholic and yes, we still do Lent) and Mike couldn't think of anything for himself. I asked him if there are any bad habits that he'd like to stop. If it takes 30 days to make a habit, certainly he could get out of a habit during the 40 days of Lent!
He suggested that he'd like to stop yelling at the kids. And by "yelling," he really means "raising his voice." Mike hardly ever actually yells, but speaking impatiently to the kids and raising his voice to get his point across is more frequent now, with the daily stresses of his new job.
I liked the idea so much that I decided that we'd do this together as a family. This morning, we laid out the plans for the kids...when Mike or I raise our voices or argue, we will pay $1 to the person who X's us. When the kids raise their voice, argue or make a request (our new focus of contentment), they will give $.25 to the person who notices it. This includes the big kids catching each other.
As the morning wore on and quarters were traded, I thought of a positive spin on our 40 day challenge: when the kids do chores without being asked and I catch them, they get $.25. And when they obey the first time, doing something diligently, they get $.25. That has been another issue we've been struggling with: with our new loose homeschooling schedule, there's been a lack of a sense of urgency around here. It's been nice to have a more relaxed environment, with the exception of the fact that when the kids are asked to do something, they turn into Pokey Little Puppies.
It's only lunchtime and I already have $5.25...and I'm a little shocked/proud that I haven't given up any money yet. I figured I'd be giving back their money little by little, but apparently not. I did kind of shout for Jason who was in the playroom when I thought he was upstairs, but I immediately stopped myself. (even though Jason isn't involved, I still pay $1 for raising my voice at him) This accountability thing is working!
I'm really hoping this new little game of ours helps change the tone of our home again. There has been so much going on in the past five months: Mike's layoff, his new job, starting to homeschool, the holidays, tons of travel...we all need to get back on track. And I, for one, am so ready.
What are you giving up for Lent?
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3 comments:
10 mins a day for each of the next 39 days to handwrite a note to someone. Like you, I want my change to impact someone other than myself this year. :)
I LOVE this post!! Oddly enough, we had this discussion with our 13 year old this weekend. It seems like all we do is "yell". Not flat out screaming but raised voices. It's like it's them against us. I told the Rooster that the only thing it's doing (especially with the 13YO)is pushing her further and further away from her. We wouldn't yell at our co-workers, why do we do it to our kids? Then again, our co-workers don't whine the way our kids do but that's another story ;)
So, we didn't give it up for Lent but in some ways, I think we gave it up for a much better reason. She's so close to leaving the nest that I really, really want the next 5 years to be as yell-free as possible.
So happy to have found your blog! I too gave up yelling (yelling in the mornings to be specific b/c that's when I truly lose it). I hadn't thought of attaching $ to it, but now I have a great idea. Both my older kids (5 and 3) have mission boxes in which they are collecting money for Lent. On days they give up treat, we drop 50 cents in there as an offering. I think putting the $ into the mission boxes (for whichever child I unleash my loud voice on) would make this a more noticeable commitment for me.
Other than the mission boxes, I've struggled with how to teach the kids about Lenten sacrifice. My 5 year old is very serious and I think would be too hard on herself if she stumbled. My 3 year old does't seem ready to get the concept. I'd love some other thoughts on how to teach them.
Thanks for the post.
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