Controversy with the 101 list???

Today has been an emotional rollar coaster.

Do you remember that game "telephone" from when we were kids? In Girl Scouts, we used to sit in a big circle and one person would say, "I don't like my dog" and by the time everyone whispered the message into the next person's ear, the last person announced that the phrase was, "I won't write or draw" or something totally different.

The point of the game is this: if you don't hear it from the horse's mouth, you may not get the right information.

Last night, I was talking to a friend about my list of 101 things that I want to accomplish in the next 1001 days. (technically, it's now 1000 days, but no pressure...) As I went through the list, she teased me about having high hopes for someone whose husband is unemployed. Ha ha, laugh laugh, but I was quick to point out that not only do have nearly 3 years to do all of these things, many of them don't cost a dime.

We were scrapbooking while our husbands were watching college football, and when we all came together again in the kitchen to play a board game, the "innocent" taunting started again. "Hey Mike, have you seen your wife's list of 101 things yet? You're gonna be paying for an awful lot of vacations, so you'd better start saving up..." (hahahaha) This is about the time that I walked into the room.

And so the harassing began. From all three of them. "You know, Katie, a lot of your goals are going to affect your husband..." "...you should really have discussed this list with him before putting it together..." "...he's already under enough financial pressure as it is..." "...do you even have 'travel' as a line item in your budget?" "...how do you expect to do any of these things with no income?" "...you really need to rethink some of these things because they're totally unrealistic..." "...I know you think your list doesn't affect Mike, but many of the things on there totally involve him..."

(Do you hear that POUNDING? Listen closely. That's the sound of people stomping all over my hopes and aspirations. How dare I have goals? Why should I dream big?)

Let's really dig into this concept, shall we? (not that I'm feeling defensive or anything...no I'm not...no I'm NOT!)

3. Complete the never-ending project I’m doing over our bed - FREE - I already have all of the supplies.
5. Have another baby - granted, NOT FREE - yet I still want more children
6. Take 2 weekend getaways with my girlfriends - ALMOST FREE - I can save my pennies to contribute to a couple of long weekends at my friend's condo in Flagstaff, as we'd planned
7. Take a short vacation with another couple, no kids allowed - again, if planned well, this could be really cheap
9. See the Grand Canyon - day trip
10. Take a trip back to Kansas City - I haven't been to KC in 3 years...I think it's fair to want to go back sometime in the next 3 years considering all we'd pay for is airfare
13. Organize the sports equipment in our garage - minimal cost if planned right
16. Go on a cruise - we've discussed doing this for our 10 year anniversary in 2010 OR my in laws have been discussing taking us on a cruise for a while now...not an unrealistic goal in my mind
17. Put wood floors in my scrapbook room - FREE - a friend has extra wood and he has offered to put it in
24. Sell my old bedroom furniture that I had as a kid - HELLO! This is MAKING money.
28. Go to San Francisco with Mike - again, just the plane tickets, we would stay with friends
31. Put cabinets and counter tops in my craft room - I'll admit this could be costly, but I plan to scope out discount stores that sell discontinued cabinets for cheap and could ask for $$ for this project for holiday gifts
42. Add ads to my blog to help bring in a little income - again, MAKING money...
52. Pray for Mike every day for a month - yeah, this would totally affect Mike...in a positive way!
55. Color my hair back to blond again - I use $6 boxed hair color + coupons
56. Purchase overstuffed chairs and a large ottoman for our living room - yes, this is expensive and likely won't happen until we sell a rental house
57. Get the broken dining room chair fixed - CHEAP - buy wood glue
58. Hang curtains on the office window - FREE - I have the fabric and plan on begging my MIL to sew something simple sometime in the next couple of years
59. Install crown molding in the bedroom - not cheap, again...a girl can dream, can't she? If we sell a house and Mike gets a job, I want this on the wish list
61. Get an amazing $1000 camera - again, I'm thinking birthday and Christmas money could be used to buy an amazing second-hand camera
63. Research buying contacts online to save money - Does anyone else see the word "SAVE" in this sentence?
64. Start using 100% homemade household cleaners - More savings, people!
65. Make vegetarian meals 3x a week for a month - Meat is expensive, saving more money here, too
75. Take a hot air balloon ride - this likely won't happen, but it would be so fun!
80. Buy a van with a DVD player for long car trips - this is only if we have another kid...we can't fit 3 car seats in our little Hondas

93. Plan an international trip with Mike - it says, "plan," not "go on"

This little mini-intervention last night caused a major rift. Most of the day today, we bickered over finances. It's interesting how one person's "teasing" over a highly sensitive issue caused so much tension in my marriage. (lesson: be careful what you say)

The good news is that Mike agreed to put together a "budget." (though we need to call it something different because he can't fathom the concept of a budget not balancing to zero when there's no income) AND, after much begging, pleading and negotiating, we agreed that I will start using a cash envelope system to pay for certain budget items. This is going to give me a little freedom to shuffle money from one envelope to another if I do really well on groceries one month or win a little money at Bunco another month. Otherwise, it just goes into the bottomless pit of "we don't have any income so spend as little as possible" which was really stressing me out.

It sounds selfish to Mike, but I need some breathing room. If I have a friend selling girl clothes for $1 apiece and I have an opportunity to buy some will-fit-her-this-summer outfits for Kaylin, I'd like the flexibility to do that. I saw cheap, cheap, cheap after Christmas stuff that I wanted to buy for next year. I could buy it now for $10 or next November for $40. Hmmm...I'd rather re-write the meal plan with cheaper dinners for a few days and shuffle some money into a spending category so I can save our family money in the long-run. That's how I operate.

Mike still hasn't read my list, but at least now I feel like we won't argue when he does. And I'm excited about the envelope system because I won't feel like I'm being interrogated every time he asks a simple question when a shopping bag enters the house. I'll get an already-tight amount of cash on the first of each month to buy groceries, clothes for the kids, to get my hair cut and anything else I consider to be must-haves. Period. The end. No questions asked. Can I get a HALLA???

After all of that drama, Mike and I took the kids hiking. It is a bee-utiful day today and I will look back fondly on this memory. I carried Kaylin piggy-back most of the way (and got a great workout with the extra 30 pounds of weight up the mountain!) and Ryan told the other hikers, "Happy New Year" each time they passed. The mountain was filled with parents and kids, which was cool to see.

SO I'm thrilled that an emotionally draining day will end well. The kids are going to my in laws for a sleep over tonight while we go to a grown-up party. And now that Mike and I are on the same page, I'm not nervous for the teasing about my 101 things to continue. Because it will. That's how my friends roll.

{learn a little about me}

I'm a Christian wife and a stay-at-home homeschooling mom to three great kids. In 2007, I began my original blog, Three Blondes and a Redhead, as a journal about my world, but transitioned in 2009 to Intentionally Katie to accommodate a growing audience. I am passionate about being a good "Household Manager" and love to encourage women and parents in the areas of cooking, organizing and frugal living. I'm a sucker for comments, so please feel free to drop a line and say, "Hi!"

* 50+ things about me
* 100 things that make me happy
* I am...
* Lessons I've learned
* My favorite parenting tips
* 101 Goals in 1001 Days list

{meet the rest of the family}
Mike, my wonderful husband of 12 years
 

Ryan, our 8 year old


Kaylin, 6 years old (going on 12)


Jason, our very busy 3 year old

I write about the kids often because they are such a huge part of my life. I have intentionally manipulated the older two into being best friends, despite their typical sibling squabbles. They constantly crack us up with their Ryanisms and Kaylinisms; I hope they entertain you as much as they do us!

101 Goals in 1001 Days

The first time I saw the concept of completing 101 Goals in 1001 Days was on my friend Rachel's blog. I love lists (especially to-do lists) and goals (especially when they're attainable...you know...with a deadline of September 27, 2011!) so the idea immediately appealed to me. Well, Katy Lin just did a 101 in 1001 list and lit a fire under me again to make my own list.

Somehow, the idea of completing 101 bigger goals is pretty daunting, but I'm ready for the challenge. It took a while to come up with 101 things and I'll admit I looked at these friends' lists for inspiration. And with my mini-OCD personality, it took everything in me not to categorize these to create some order, but instead I just left the list as-is, pretty much how things popped into my head. I'll let you know as I complete items and will update this post to show what has been crossed off. If you want to make your own list, read some tips here.

1. Wake up at 6am every day for 30 days in a row (5/7/10)
2. Create a realistic housekeeping plan and follow it for 1 month (6/12/10)
3. Complete the never-ending project I’m doing over our bed (1/13/09)
4. Do a 3 day media fast (8/2/09)
5. Have another baby (10/23/09)
6. Take 2 weekend getaways with my girlfriends (5/17/09 and 3/12/10)
7. Take a short vacation with another couple, no kids allowed (3/25/11)
8. Go to a marriage conference with Mike (1/10/09)
9. See the Grand Canyon (7/24/11)
10. Take a trip back to Kansas City (10/6/11)
11. Read a fiction book, start to finish (I know, that’s pathetic, but I'm not a fiction reader) (4/6/09)
12. Start an All About Me scrapbook (1/15/09)
13. Organize the sports equipment in our garage (1/11/09)
14. Open savings accounts for the kids (6/25/11)
15. Teach the kids to tithe weekly (9/25/11)
16. Go on a cruise (1/11/10)
17. Put wood floors in my scrapbook room
18. Hike to the top of Camelback Mountain
19. Share my faith with a stranger (9/15/11)
20. Teach Ryan to read (1/16/10)
21. Teach Kaylin to write her name (1/16/10)
22. Develop a workable system for paperwork in the office (3/15/11) 
23. Keep the desk clutter-free for 1 month (6/4/09)
24. Sell my old bedroom furniture that I had as a kid (9/24/10)
25. Recycle our unused electronics (10/22/11)
26. Do 25 random acts of kindness (9/22/11)
27. Attept to make homemade cinnamon rolls (1/27/09)
28. Go to San Francisco with Mike (3/25/11)
29. Label the baskets on my bookshelves and in the linen closet (5/28/09)
30. Fast from sugar for 30 days in a row (3/25/10)
31. Put cabinets and countertops in my craft room
32. Figure out digital picture frames (9/24/10)
33. Learn how to use my MP3 player (9/9/11)
34. Post MHR every Friday for a month (1/23/09)
35. Clean outside windows and screens (6/2/09)
36. Have the kids choose a Christmas "angel" that’s their age and have them choose gifts for their child that they would want for themselves (12/15/09)
37. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
38. Sit down and pre-plan meals for 1 month out and stick with the plan (2/5/09)
39. Visit a friend in the hospital (1/27/11)
40. Figure out how to make bread starting the dough in the bread machine and finishing it in the oven (4/27/09)
41. Buy more memory for the computer (2/19/09 - we bought a new computer instead of new memory, but this totally counts!)
42. Add ads to my blog to help bring in a little income (1/31/09 and 4/1/10)
43. Figure out how to record home movies to DVD using my computer (8/10/10...kind of)
44. Call a locksmith to unlock our empty file cabinet (7/26/11)
45. Try sushi (California rolls don’t count) (1/11/10)
46. Build a snowman with the kids (9/19/11)
47. Go jogging on the beach (9/6/10)
48. Buy groceries with a weekly cash allowance for a month (2/1/09)
49. Learn to use Photoshop (5/19/09)
50. Get 25 comments on a single blog post (1/11/09)
51. Create a family mission statement and frame it (7/8/09)
52. Pray for Mike every day for a month (2/18/09)
53. Go to a concert/comedy show (11/4/09 and 8/19/10)
54. Allow the kids to have dessert before dinner (11/15/09) and (6/26/11)
55. Color my hair back to blonde again (4/15/09)
56. Purchase overstuffed chairs and a large ottoman for our living room (4/25/10 - thanks for the great deal, Mom!)
57. Get the broken dining room chair fixed (1/18/09 - thanks, honey!)
58. Hang curtains on the office window
59. Install crown molding in the bedroom
60. Take a photography class (12/6/09 and 11/20/10)
61. Get an amazing $1000 camera (6/10/09)
62. Do a cleanse (7/13/10)
63. Research buying contacts online to save money (8/24/10)
64. Start using 100% homemade household cleaners (6/27/10)
65. Make vegetarian meals 3x a week for a month (4/2/10)
66. Play in the rain with my kids (7/22/10)
67. Visit Desert Botanical Gardens
68. Go to Organ Stop Pizza with the family (7/31/09)
69. Sign Kaylin up for a dance class (3/10/10) 
70. Camp by the Christmas tree (12/10/10)
71. Figure out Twitter(4/19/09)
72. Take a bubble bath once a week for a month (3/31/10)
73. Bring Mike breakfast in bed (5/31/09 and 6/21/09)
74. Find the perfect picture for above the dining room table (6/29/09)
75. Take a hot air balloon ride
76. Plan a girls day with just my mom and Kaylin (5/29/10)
77. Clean out my bedroom closet (4/14/10)
78. Purge old paperwork from our file cabinets (11/27/10)
79. Give myself a pedicure 3 months in a row (9/10/11)
80. Buy a van with a DVD player for long car trips (3/31/09)
81. Wash my car by hand (5/2/10)
82. Take a spin class (without leaving in the middle) (9/22/11)
83. Invite 5 “new” neighbors over for lunch (4/18/10)
84. Go a whole week without raising my voice to the kids, not once (7/16/09)
85. Teach Ryan to make a full dinner all by himself (5/13/11)
86. Teach Kaylin to go potty by herself (1/28/09)
87. Attend Kick Boxing every Saturday for 3 months
88. Attend a Yoga class once a week for 3 months
89. Lift weights 2 times a week for a month (3/12/10)
90. Jog for 30 minutes straight (6/2/10)
91. Talk Mike into getting a professional massage (8/21/10)
    
92. Let the kids make most of the decisions for an entire day (8/1/10)
93. Plan an international trip with Mike (7/25/11)
94. Watch Gone With the Wind (10/6/10)
95. Do a devotional with the kids every day for 2 weeks (7/17/09)
96. Go to bed at 9:00 every day for a week straight (1/22/11)
97. Research an inexpensive, good quality skin care regimen and stick to it (9/14/11)
98. Get Lasik surgery on my eyes
99. Floss daily for one month (2/18/09)
100. Find the perfect-fitting bra (8/19/10)
101. Get 100,000 hits on my blog (1/12/10)

Please let me know if you start your own 101 list...I'd love to peek, especially now that it's too late to steal any of your ideas. Wish me luck!!!

(Update: so many of you have emailed or commented that you have created your own 101 in 1001 list...if you posted it to a blog or wrote about any kind of goals or New Year's resolutions, feel free to link to your blog post below...)

Free Kodak Prints

I recently discovered that when you sign up for Kodak's online photo center, they give you 75 free 4x6 prints. I'm a sucker for free pictures, so I sign up every time.

Well! I uploaded all of my pictures from November and December that I want to scrapbook and I placed my order. They had a 9 cent picture promotion going through January 9th (using the code "NEWYEARPRINTS"), so I figured if I had more than 75 pictures I wanted printed, I was paying shipping to Kodak anyway, I may as well order through them, too, right? And at 9 cents each, why not get a double of this picture for Grandma and a copy of that picture to include in Aunt Claudia's thank you note...

When all was said and done, I had 119 pictures in my cart. What on earth?

Anyway, I noticed an option to pick up your prints at a local store. Turns out they only charge $2.49 for a pick up fee vs. the $5+ I was going to pay to have them shipped to my house. Um, pick up, please!

I went through the local stores and CVS Pharmacy was on the list. Cool - I have to go there this week anyway.

But wait - it gets better! I just realized that I think I can use my ECB credits (CVS's bonus bucks program) to pay for these pictures!!!

SO...my 119 pictures should have been $17.85 (at the regular 15 cents each price) but with discounts and free prints totalling $13.89 and a measly pick up fee of $2.49, with tax, my total is $6.79. AND if they let me use my ECB, it will be free.

Hallelujah, I love CVS.

Parents: Tell, Kids: ASK

Have you ever heard advice given to parents about telling your kids to do something rather than asking? For example, "It's time to go to bed," instead of, "Are you ready to go to bed?" or "Please clear your dishes," instead of "Could you clear your dishes, please?" By turning requests into a question, kids are given the right to easily say, "no" and the parent ends up arguing or forcing the child to do something that they thought they had an option to do, when in reality, they shouldn't have been given a choice.

I've always believed in this theory and speak this way fairly consistently. That's the good news. The bad news is that it occured to me that I'm teaching my kids to do the same. And I just realized they're developing a bad habit. It didn't bother me until I heard them talking to another adult this way, now it's all my ears will hear.

It's a perfect example of manners and attitudes being caught not taught. I can't blame them, really.

I think it started when Kaylin was just beginning to talk. "Milk, please," was a polite request because she was using her manners and saying, "please," like she was taught. Ryan used to say, "May I have some milk, please?" I remember this for sure. But somewhere along the way, that statement turned into "I want some milk, please." Again, seemingly polite.

The difference, however, is that by making a statement versus asking a question, my kids suddenly sound very demanding. And I'm beginning to sense it in their hearts. You can practically hear them holding back an obnoxious, "ahem...NOW" at the end of the sentence.

So this has become my newest pet peeve and pet project. It takes effort and intention to catch them telling and correct them into asking, but I'm already seeing progress.

I don't want bratty kids. I really, really don't. How is it that when you think you have something mastered (I would well up with pride every time my kids said, "please") there's a whole 'nother element that you didn't see coming? Some days I don't think I'm smart enough for this parenting role. It's sucking my brain cells right out of my head on a moment by moment basis. Whoops! I feel a few more escaping right now...

Let it snow!

On Friday, we drove up to the mountains and spent some time sledding and eating the snow playing in the snow. It was a short, but sweet exerience, considering it took us almost an hour (right into Kaylin's naptime) to find thick enough snow to play in. (locals, take the time to drive all the way to Flagstaff...it's all melting in Prescott!)



It was a sunny, beautiful day, which meant the top of the snow was too crusted over to make snow angels or a snowman, but there was much sledding to be had. It even snowed a little before we loaded back into the car! We finished up the kids' first time in the snow with hot chocolate and cookies at a cafe in town, then headed back to Phoenix. It was a great, impromptu day trip!

Go Hug Your Husband

I'd like to ask for prayer for my poor friend, Shelly. Her husband passed away suddenly yesterday morning. The day after Christmas. He was truly the love of her life. She has a baby girl, 3 year old twin boys and a 14 year old daughter. And she is now on her own with those sweet kids.

What began as a blood clot this summer, turned into a tumor, he began chemo, the tumors shrank, they celebrated when he came home from the hospital last week, God gave him all day on Christmas with his family, then Shelly found him unresponsive yesterday morning. And now he is with the Lord.

If you know Shelly or feel lead to help in some way (Dan had been out of work for months due to being in and out of the hospital, so they need lots of help financially, with groceries, diapers, anything will help) please email me at ktksu(at)cox(dot)net.

Whenever I was having a rough day with Mike or the kids or began a pity party about our situation, I thought of Shelly. Her family's circumstances put things into perspective for me so often and I hope this can somehow help you appreciate all that you have, too.

Seriously...go hug your husband. Just because he's alive and with you right now.

Some post-Christmas ideas

Did everyone have a GREAT Christmas? Is anyone out there a little sad that it's over...like ME? I just love this time of year and the "big day" seems to come and go so quickly.

In thinking about wrapping up the festivities, I have some ideas for you to let the Christmas cheer linger a little bit. A few friends of mine have a great way of enjoying their holiday cards all year. Well, not the cards so much as the pictures included with the cards. They take those huge collage frames with all of the different sized holes in the mat. Anyway, they put the pictures of all of their friends and family in the frame to hang up and look at throughout the year. Isn't that genius? (thanks Erin for the picture!)

Since I never got around to displaying the cards I received this year (I just tossed them in a Christmas basket, which is VERY unlike me), I've decided to do something a little different over the next few months. Someone once told me that they keep their Christmas cards on their dinner table throughout December and every night at dinner, take out a card and pray for the person who sent it. Well, December's nearly over, so we're going to start this on the 1st of January. If you haven't sent me a card yet and want prayers...there's still time!!! :)

Once your holiday fun is totally done and you're ready for your house to look like it does the other 11 months of the year, consider spreading it out over a few days. I notice Mike gets really bummed when we put away all of our Christmas stuff, so I'm thinking about putting away all but the tree one day, then taking down the tree a few days later, just to prolong the festivities as long as possible for him. (especially this year)

Other ways to keep the spirit alive:

- Drive around and look at Christmas lights...again. Most people keep their decorations up until the New Year, so go ahead and gawk.

- Hit some after Christmas sales and buy stuff (decor, festive holiday wear, wrapping paper/ribbons, even gifts) for next year. I'm so sad that we don't have extra cash right now because I would LOVE to buy tiny trees for each of my kid's bedrooms for next year.

- Rent a couple of "Christmas" movies that you didn't catch on tv. White Christmas, It's a Wonderful Life and The Family Man are great movies set around the holidays, but aren't ALL about Christmas like Elf, The Santa Clause or The Grinch.

- Sit down with the kids and help them write Thank You notes for their gifts. (it's a good habit to start with them early) If they're too young to write, have them draw a picture then sign their name at the end of your note. Include a picture of them enjoying the gift, if you can.

- AND there's still time to "camp" by the Christmas tree. (unless you've already torn your stuff down...)

That reminds me. I'm curious: when do your Christmas decorations come down? I'm meeting more and more people who pack up their Christmas stuff on December 26th. Scrooges! Traditionally, I'm totally a January 1st girl. When I was working, it was the perfect day-off to complete the big task of tearing down, packing up, putting away and doing the post-decoration clean-up. What about you?

Christmas 2008

(Disclaimer: this post is info that I'll likely forget before I get around to scrapbooking our holiday, so most of these details are more for ME than for you. That said...enjoy!)

Christmas for us began last weekend at my in law's house. My mom joined us, we sat around all day, grazing on snacks and chatting by the firepit outside. We also opened tons of gifts, which kicked off our "Christmas week" with a bang, then we spent the night so we didn't have to rush home before the kids' bedtime. We didn't head home until the next afternoon.

Last night, we had a mellow time at my mom's. Traditionally, either my grandma or mom has a huge Christmas Eve party where everyone in the family invites their stray friends who have no where to spend the evening, but this year, it was a teeny crew. In fact, Mike was the only man there! My grandmother, my aunt and cousin, my mom and a friend of hers and our family and that was it. After my grandma verbally attacking me for coloring my hair too dark (ahhh, the banter and harrassment of Christmas with family...), she played Christmas carols on the piano and the kids were SO proud that they knew the words to so many of the songs. (Jingle Bells, Rudolf, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town and A Tree, A Tree - which my grandma made up years ago and my mom taught them just for this occasion) We had a nice dinner and headed home around 8:00.

Then this morning, I woke up before the kids to put breakfast in the oven. Mike slowly joined me downstairs, and it got to the point where we were literally staring at each other and watching the clock, waiting for the kids to wake up. 7:45 rolled around (remember, my kids are early risers) and we finally couldn't take it anymore and decided to wake them up, video camera in hand. Both kids were out COLD. Ryan admitted to sitting straight up in bed every time he heard the slightest sound, just in case it was Santa. The poor child probably never entered a single REM cycle. They were SO excited that the cookies they left for Santa were gone and Ryan wanted to check outside to see the reindeer ate all of the oats he put on the grass for them. THIS is the magical part of Christmas I remember as a kid!

My mom and Mike's family spent the day here, where it took all day for Kaylin to completely open her gifts. (she savored each one after it was opened, plus she took a 3.5 hour nap in the middle of the day because of all the excitement) Ryan was so busy that he didn't eat a single thing until I made him sit down at 11:30 and eat some "breakfast."

It also rained all day for the first time since 1994, which means it snowed in higher elevations. I totally want to take the kids to play in the snow tomorrow, but am fighting a cold - my eyes are runny, my nose is raw from rubbing the drips with tissues and everything makes me sneeze. So we'll see.

Kaylin's favorite gifts (according to her, her favorites were a bouncy ball and the Thomas train, neither of which were gifts this year...that's what I get for waiting to ask until just before bedtime)

- "peent" M&Ms

- a pretend camera (that makes a clicking noise)

- a pink purse set, complete with cell phone, keys, sunglasses, lipstick, nail polish and perfume bottle

- princess dress up shoes and tons of dress up jewelry and clothes

- pots and pans and kitchen things to play with in her house

- lots of baby dolls, plus I made a tutu for her doll that matches hers

- Hello Kitty stuff (socks, jewelry and hair clips from her brother)

- a bunch of pink versions of things Ryan has: a pink umbrella, a princess bike, a pink suitcase, slippers and a piggy bank

Ryan's favorite gifts

- a new rubber skeleton (don't ask...it was a replacement for a favorite Halloween toy that broke)

- several robots

- Leapster 2

- a remote control car

- a two wheeled scooter

- a watch (Kaylin was really jealous of this...note to self...)

- Hungry, Hungry Hippos

Joint gifts from the grandmas:

- his/hers fanny packs for hiking

- his/hers fishing poles

- a Jesus doll and a Mary doll that quote scripture (both kids love these!)

- stickers
- movies

- books

My favorite gifts:

- Photoshop Elements program (that I can't even install because my computer doesn't have enough memory!!!)

- a small dresser for our bathroom

- a $50 movie gift card

- a homemade monthly calendar from Ryan

- a surprise K-State t-shirt from my Aunt Claudia in KC

Mike's favorite gifts:

- a tent

- an online photo book I made for him including all of the "best of" pictures from each month of 2008

- Ryan's rocket-shooter thing (boys never grow up!)

- Starbuck's and Danny's gift cards

So that's it. Christmas 2008 in a nutshell. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a GOOD NIGHT!

A Sucker for Santa

I've mentioned that we've been wishy-washy about the whole Santa thing, right? Well, I overheard Mike say something to Ryan, encouraging the situation, and I totally went with it.

The kids are super excited for Santa to visit, especially Ryan. He knows that he has to be asleep before Santa will come, but he didn't understand why he couldn't "just say, 'Hi'" - you know, because they're old pals. We've seen Santa twice on purpose and ran into him at Sprouts grocery shopping by accident.

As I was pulling the gifts out from under the tree and setting them out for the morning, I realized I forgot a VERY important Santa detail. It was so important to me that I actually got the kids back up and brought them downstairs to pick out cookies to put out on a plate.

I wrote a note and read aloud "For: Santa" and Kaylin immediately added, "AND Rudolf AND the reindeer..." So I kept writing. Both kids colored him a picture, too.

At Sprouts, Santa gave the kids autographed pictures, which I totally saved and put near the empty plate of cookies and the stockings. Am I good at lying to my children or what? Ah, the magic of Christmas. Oh, don't worry - we'll read the Nativity story before we open gifts in the morning and blow out birthday candles for Jesus. I haven't forgotten the real meaning of Christmas, but I AM getting into this Santa thing!

Christmas Eve cookie tradition

(Julie, I totally stole your tradition idea.) My friend Julie makes sure her family stays home on Christmas Eve and relaxes, decorating Christmas cookies and spending time together before they get really into the throws of the big day.

So yesterday afternoon, the kids and I baked the cookies...

Then after a lazy Christmas Eve morning and a quick trip to Target (I decided to let the kids pick out a secret Christmas gift for each other from the $1 bins), we sat down to decorate...

I was more hands-off than I've ever been with these kids and sprinkles. (and WOW - the 30+ minutes in clean up time showed...frosting, crumbs and sprinkles covered everything)

Mike almost choked on his drink when Ryan announced that he used frosting to make eyes, a mouth, hands, feet, a belly button, a blue necktie and a penis. My son made a pornographic gingerbread man. (the cookie is upside down, but the penis is the green frosting)



We made sure the rest of our gingerbread men had clothes on. This is where Mike finally started getting into the spirit of decorating (it was the beginning of his upward climb out of his funk today - HALLA!)

There was much taste-testing to be had...

I really liked this idea a lot and I think we'll do it again! We gave away all of the cookies I made a couple of weeks ago, so these are all for our family. I'll bring them to my moms tonight and serve the leftovers after Christmas dinner tomorrow.

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!!!

Reality Check - Christmas Letter '08

I got a Christmas letter via email the other day from a faraway friend whose oldest is Ryan's age and who is expecting baby #4 this summer. She is the all-natural, earthy version of Super Mom and I look up to her in so many ways.

As I read through the letter, seeing updates on each member of the family and positive-infused details about their life, I slowly sank in my seat. Here she is, pregnant plus has a whole extra kid more than me, and she's seemingly floating through life. The only line in the letter that seemed less-than-wonderful was, "Things are well with us...wild, but well."

I immediately responded with an email, pouring my heart out. I have been really struggling the past two weeks. Not only is Mike feeling low and having trouble enjoying his "time off" with our family during the holidays, but my kids are beginning to obsorb the tension and they are quickly becoming a HUGE handful. So in addition to the financial stress, there is additional marital stress and (woo hoo - come join the party!) now parenting stress. I've been pushed past my limit and after reading about how someone with more kids (and an exhausting pregnancy!) than I have is handling life with grace and optimism, I wanted to cry.

My sweet friend responded with "the unedited Christmas letter," which was much more raw and laugh-out-loud hilarious. I guess the before and after emails helped me realize that no one wants the ugly truth in an annual Christmas letter. For some recipients, this is the only time all year that they hear from us. I doubt they want to hear all of our daily struggles and frustrations. Kind of like the passers by who say, "How are you?" If you answered anything but, "Fine," (or at the worst, "Hangin' in there," if you're not fine), everyone would be so shocked that they'd slowly back away from you the crazy person having verbal diarrhea all over them because, really, they were just asking to try to be polite. I mean, come on. It's Christmas. Everything is sugar-coated at Christmas.

So...without further adieu, I present to you MY unedited Christmas letter...

Wow - it's been a horrible past few weeks an interesting year! We had a major change for our family in October when we received the financially and emotionally devestating news that our church was downsizing its staff and that Mike was being laid off. As naive as it seems, even considering the downward financial spiral our country has gotten itself into We were completely shocked by the announcement, but after bouts of tears, fears, doubt, anxiety and even anger we trust that God is in control of every aspect of our lives and know that He has a great, new job that will require him to work longer hours and sit in rush hour traffic while the kids and I eat dinner alone around the corner for Mike.

The kids are completely out of control doing well and are growing up so fast. Although if they don't start shaping up, they may not make it to their birthdays next summer. Ryan is in his second year of pre-school but will be pulled out if Mike doesn't find employment soon and absolutely loves it. It's the only time of the week that he will sit still and actually follow instructions from anyone. Kaylin is completely potty trained at the young age of two except when she decides to pee all over the place, out of the blue, usually out in public, when I'm unprepared and don't have a change of clothes and she even sleeps in underwear at night which she decided to do the day after I purchased and opened a mega-pack of 120 diapers!

I love that our kids are best friends which gives them twice the power when they decide to misbehave or gang up on me in an attempt to send me over the edge and that they're such great play mates unless one tries to steal the others' toy and, in that case, it's ON...they will antagonize each other to the point of screaming and/or causing bodily harm...until I can't handle it anymore and freak out, shouting at the top my lungs and putting them both in time out...where they continue to antagonize each other. I am so grateful to be their mother but doubt my abilities daily and that I am able to stay home with them full time which may be ripped away from me if we start running out of money and I need to go back to work.

I hope this letter finds you well if I can gather enough change to purchase stamps to mail it and pray that your family is enjoying this holiday season. We would appreciate your prayers specifically that I can manage to get through the next few days without shedding any more tears during this unwelcome unhappy unstable rough patch in our lives.

Merry freakin' Christmas, from our home which is freezing because someone won't let me turn on the heater to yours.

A few pre-Christmas organization ideas

Before your home is infiltrated with all of the new stuff that your loved ones will give you this week, I have a suggestion. Start making room BEFORE Christmas day. (I know...like you need one more thing to do before December 25, but just hang with me for a minute.)

Take a big box or some Rubber Maid plastic bins and pack up some of the old "boring" toys that have not been played with in a while. Pull them out in February or March when the Christmas toys lose their luster. If your kids are old enough (say pre-school and above) involve them in the process. You might even want to use this as a learning opportunity to explain how you want your family to stay organized and how too many things (or "clutter") makes it hard to function well. Remember: if you don't teach these principles to your kids, no one will!

Another idea is to put away some of the NEW toys that you get for Christmas. That may seem odd, but let your kids pick a few of their favorites for now, then rotate in some of the other toy gifts in a few weeks when you need a few minutes to do some chores around the house. Or if you go on a long car trip. Or you just want to shower...or read a magazine...or make a phone call. (obviously I'm talking to the moms of little ones here!) Just don't forget to rotate the toys back in - if you're an "out of sight, out of mind" person, jot it down on your calendar as a reminder.

A few final ideas for a calmer Christmas morning:

- While opening gifts, keep the following things nearby:

* a large trash bag for wrapping paper and boxes (clean up as you go instead of spending an hour later in the day)

* scissors (what is it with the packaging on toys these days???)

* several sizes of batteries

* both kinds of screwdrivers

* a coin (because some of the toy makers try to make it "easier" to open the battery pack with a coin)

- Take your time unwrapping presents with the littler kids. What's the harm in letting them play with a few of the toys as they are opened? They won't be as appreciative of items that are taken away from them as soon as they're opened while other packages are shoved into their hands. This can be an opportunity for them to learn gratitude and how to thank each person as the gift is opened and played with. Then, if the giver is there with you, they can know that their gift choice was a good one. (This is a picture of Mike's mom reading a story to Kaylin immediately after she opened it last night - in years past, we would have taken the book away and promised to read it later. WHY?! What is the point of rushing through this experience???)

- If your kids get too riled up, slow things down a bit. Last year, Ryan seemed to be inundated with the excitement of Christmas morning. He wasn't enjoying the gift-opening process, he was acting out and there was just too much going on. I wanted to calm him down, so I asked him to sit on my lap (which I never expected him to agree to) and he suddenly was completely at ease. He opened one gift at a time and actually saw what was inside instead of tearing, throwing, ripping and crushing the packages he was given. It was a huge lesson for me that the adults aren't the only ones who get overstimulated when things get chaotic.

- If the piles upon piles of opened gifts get too hectic and you can't see the floor, instead of being overwhelmed by all of the new "things" that suddenly need to find homes in your already full closets, cabinets, nooks and crannies, put the opened gifts back under the tree. I discovered this trick the first year we had Ryan and it has been a lifesaver. This doesn't only apply to toys...your spouses and your gifts can be tossed back under there, too. It helps keep your mind un-cluttered and you can take your time over the next few days putting things were they will belong long-term instead of finding temporary homes and potentially losing gifts that you loved. And if you're doing Christmas morning someplace else and come home with bags of stuff, I suggest the same thing. Instead of leaving everything in the bags and dropping them where ever they land, stick them all under the tree until you have time to put everything in it's proper place.

- Once all of the gifts are opened, interview your family and ask each person what their favorite gifts were. If you keep lists like this every year, it's interesting to look back on later. (and, if you're like me, you might forget what gifts were received within a few days of Christmas if you don't write it down!)

- My last tip is to BREATHE and remember to relax this holiday. If you're hosting your holiday celebration, don't be afraid to accept help for cooking, cleaning up, etc. And don't put so much pressure on yourself for everything to be perfect that you stress everyone around you yourself out. People are coming to your home to enjoy YOU, not to critique how well your place cards match your centerpiece. This is your Christmas, too, and you deserve to enjoy all of these experiences with your friends and family. Be MERRY this Christmas!!!

Light Bulb Moment

You've had them, right? "Light bulb moments." There are certain things people can't tell you to do...you have to want to do it for yourself. You need to want to quit smoking or want to reconcile with a long, lost loved one or want to lose weight.

I had my light bulb moment yesterday.

Remember last month when I thought I was pregnant? Remember how I was 100% sure??? That certainty infested my thinking and allowed lots and lots of food and calories past my lips because I had thoughts of, "What's the point? I'm just going to get fat and pregnant anyway..."

Then surprise! Not pregnant. Oh well, it's the holidays. Again: what's the point??? I'll start fresh after the new year. I'll be good, I promise. But not yet. Bring on the Christmas cookies and neighbor gifts and I'll have just one more because what could it hurt?

But I knew. I felt my pants getting tighter. I saw the scale creeping higher...slowly...one pound at a time. I actually began noticing that full feeling each night after dinner. Not just satisfied. Full. I was eating to the point of being full...nightly. I'm a good cook, but not that good!

Sometimes all it takes is a light bulb moment. Mine was last night. We were eating enchiladas and they were delicious. I seemed to inhale my dinner and added a little more to my plate. Then I snuck a bite or two from Kaylin, who hadn't touched her food. As Mike finished up, he brought his dish to the sink and ran water over it. Odd, considering the fact that I only gave him one enchilada. He can put it away, that man of mine. He's no stranger to seconds.

I asked if he was full and he said, "Yeah, those were pretty filling. I don't need more. I'm good."

(gulp)

I had officially eaten more than my husband. Almost twice as much more than a man who eats a lot. Most people who eat what he eats weigh 300 pounds. Then there are others (like him) who have a crazy metabolism.

Not only did I eat more than a man not on a diet and not watching what he's eating, but I also I had dessert. And, as is now customary, I was full all night. Oh, how I hate that post-Thanksgiving meal feeling of being full.

So there it is: I can't wait until January 1st to cut back. Because at this rate, I'll have gained another 5 pounds by then.

Light bulb.

Link Love

I was getting behind in my blog-reading again, then I remembered my old habit of pasting posts into Word and printing them off to read at the gym. Yesterday I caught up on a dozen posts, 45 minutes of reading, and my time on the elliptical flew. Woo hoo!

I read some great posts that I wanted to share, if you have time to skim or read them. Good stuff:

Marriage is Hard, Part 2 - Sarah Mae at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee had a 4 part marriage series last week, but this one got to me the most. Great advice, perfect reminders.

(excerpt: "I think reading The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace was very helpful for me in becoming a good wife. She explains how our thought life really effects our actions and words. We can change our ungodly thoughts to biblical thoughts and become a blessing to our husband instead of a curse.")

Kids in the Kitchen - Life as Mom

(excerpt: "I think once our mind-set of dinner time changes from being a burden at the end of the day to being an experience that nurtures our growing families, the work aspect of it becomes easier to manage. I enjoy the opportunity to slow down and see the wonderful colors nature makes in fruits and veggies, to smell garlic and onions coming together to add flavor to the meat of the night, and to share many taste tests with the boys.")

Simplify the Holidays - Simple Mom

(excerpt: "Take a moment with a cup of coffee, a pen, your family calendar, and your journal, and list 3 to 5 words that describe your ideal current holiday season. Be careful to appropriately define the word ideal. I don’t mean “magazine picture-perfect.” I mean, what’s best for everyone in your family, in your current situation? That’s my definition of ideal.")

Free 8x10 at Walgreens - The Good Deal Gal

Also, I realize this is random, but I want to thank Emily for giving me the Lemonade Award for presenting great attitude and gratitude on my blog. THANKS girlfriend!!!

Ice Cream Cone Christmas Tree Craft

Check out what the kids created at Ryan's school today! We should have colored the frosting green for the true effect, but here's the idea: take a sugar ice cream cone, dip the wide end in frosting and stick it to a bowl or plate. We gave the kids frosting to spread on the cone to make it into "Christmas tree" and candy decorations to add as ornaments and lights. Similar to a gingerbread house but 10 times simpler.

Before...


After...


I aided at the pre-school Christmas party today and Mike was able to join us for the sing-along and (of course) the pizza party. Kaylin sat with the big kids and even decorated her own "tree." She always feels like such a big girl in Ryan's class...


Before the chaos began, Mrs. B took the monthly class picture. She always uses props and was wrapping Christmas lights around the kids when one of the, um, rowdier kids yelled, "Oh PLEASE don't tie me up!" Mrs. B quickly said, "...and that is exactly how rumors get started."


In the first hour of class, we crammed in Christmas Bingo (with M&Ms), the kids made reindeer feed (oats and glitter to sprinkle on the yard so the reindeer can see their houses better) and wrapped their gifts to the parents, decorating the wrapping paper, writing the tag and adding tons and tons of bows.

Last year, I was SO surprised by Ryan's gift. His teacher got the best, smiling picture of Ryan that I'd seen in months (he went through a long phase of never sitting still or smiling for pictures) and turned it into a Christmas ornament that Ryan decorated. She gave the class strict instructions to put the gift under the tree and not allow Mom or Dad to peek until Christmas morning. They got the same instructions this year, but unfortunately for me (I enjoy surprises sometimes!) I've seen the gift. And I almost cried!!! I'll say it again: I LOVE this teacher. I don't want to spoil it for Mike (who I doubt is reading this), but I'm excited we'll get to appreciate this gift all year long.